this is a page in my little black book.a few weeks ago i wrote this in that book...and it broke my heart while i was writing it. it broke me because, if i don't believe that God is going to do what he says, what is this all for?
i am weak.
i do not have even the smallest amount of faith.
i question everything...everything.
He is who is says he is...why do i make it so hard?
i think for a while now, i've been attacked...but i was too dumb to see it. or proud. i work on taking things into my own hands and that never ends up how i'd like it to. i've been exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually...and the devil has definitely used that as an advantage to plant thoughts that don't belong in my head.
i am working on being in the Word consistently...and it's getting better.
i am working on letting go of that which i have no control over...everything.
i am working on being in prayer more than ever before.
i am working on being full of belief...
when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "it's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. but Jesus immediately said to them:
"take courage! it is I. don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"come," he said.
then peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
"you of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
[matthew 14: 26-31]
i am weak.
i do not have even the smallest amount of faith.
i question everything...everything.
He is who is says he is...why do i make it so hard?
i think for a while now, i've been attacked...but i was too dumb to see it. or proud. i work on taking things into my own hands and that never ends up how i'd like it to. i've been exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually...and the devil has definitely used that as an advantage to plant thoughts that don't belong in my head.
i am working on being in the Word consistently...and it's getting better.
i am working on letting go of that which i have no control over...everything.
i am working on being in prayer more than ever before.
i am working on being full of belief...
when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "it's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. but Jesus immediately said to them:
"take courage! it is I. don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"come," he said.
then peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
"you of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
[matthew 14: 26-31]
2 comments:
this was so good for me today.
and something i didn't realize i needed until afterward.
thank you for being broken and sharing it.
Wow. I so much appreciate your openness and honesty. What a great example in vulnerability and transperancy. Thank you for allowing others to look into your soul and see you where you are. I'm so glad that you're looking and searching. God is good, and He'll come through. He always will.
(I'm so glad that you found my blog so that I could find yours! I can't wait to keep up with it!)
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