For a while now, I've been wrestling with ridiculous feelings of inadequacy, doubt, lameness, loneliness, crazy, and almost everything else under the sun. And by a while...I mean a good while. This isn't a two-week fever...it's more like a months-long battle with everything I don't know how to handle.

I know the Lord has plans for me, and I believe that...but this waiting thing is starting to take its toll on me. And I'm letting it.

I struggle with consistency in the Word and prayer. 

My attitude is horrible.

Sleep is off. 

Rather than being excited for others, I find jealousy creeping in.

...etc.

I was talking with a friend last night about yesterday's message at Brentwood Baptist Church in Nashville, TN.

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."  -Matthew 3:13-17

In that moment, God was pleased with his Son. In that moment, God said to those who would hear it that Jesus was enough. The Son that came to this earth to fulfill all righteousness by living a sinless life, taking the world's sin upon his shoulders, being crucified on a cross...shedding His pure, sinless blood for every undeserving soul in the world...was enough. And God was pleased with what his son had done. 


Obey. 


I'm so worried about why there aren't any jobs. Why I'm stuck in Illinois. Why no boys love me. Why everyone else gets to have friends living in the same time zone/city/house. Why I'm not hearing from God. Why nothing is "working out" for me. 


Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.   ...how selfish. 


While I was busy thinking about myself, I lost sight of who He is.
While I was busy thinking about myself, I quit trying.
While I was busy thinking about myself, I let Satan in.


I'm not promised a glamorous life. I'm not even promised an easy/good life. But I am promised a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I am promised the Healer, Sustainer, Maker and Ruler of all things. 


I'm going to quit thinking that He's forgotten about me. 
I'm going to start believing that my life has worked out...just not the way I planned it. 
I'm going to remember that He is good...and He is enough for me.